Saturday, February 4, 2012

Score One for the Silent Majority

Old Testament fetus fetishists who wish to remove any and all reproductive options for women failed in their bid to de-fund Planned Parenthood via their political influence within the Susan G. Komen Foundation for the Cure.

A hostile backlash erupted after it became known the foundation would cease funding breast screenings offered by Planned Parenthood, an organization which promotes reproductive rights in addition to providing general health care information and services for women.

As a result, the foundation announced Friday it would reverse its policy on funding groups under congressional investigation, even when those “investigations” are manufactured by radical, right-wing congressmen like Cliff Stearns and meant only to incite an extremist minority.

At the core of conservative dislike for reproductive rights (a.k.a. abortion) is that it removes from their control the lives they would otherwise destroy via poverty, unemployment, denial of health care and long-term marginalization.

A statement by the Komen Foundation said it was "distressed" by the notion funding changes were made for "political reasons."

Imagine how the rest of us felt.

Score one for the silent majority.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Hat Trick

A hat trick is a trick not performed by guys in tuxedos with sexy assistants, but by heavily-padded, sweaty dudes on ice skates looking to knock the crap out of each other.

It means they’ve scored three goals in a game.

This is typically celebrated with hats being tossed upon the ice by the paying customers in attendance.

While I haven’t scored three goals, I have attempted (and perhaps succeeded) to make three points.

And whether you agree or disagree, you are free to, in the words of Randy Newman, leave your hat on.


In countries more-committed to maintaining at least the appearance of equality than the United States of America, people who brazenly and recklessly steal from the public are punished, not protected.

Case in point is the former head of the Royal Bank of Scotland, Fred Goodwin.

After making disastrous financial decisions which necessitated a 45 billion-pound bail-out by UK taxpayers, and the subsequent loss of thousands of jobs, Goodwin was stripped of his knighthood on Monday by the Queen of England.

His 650,000 pounds-per-year pension was reduced to 342,500.

I applaud his royal title being forcibly removed and his extravagant pension cut. But let’s be clear—this is only a beginning, not an end.

You or I wouldn’t receive so much as a lukewarm reference after such a performance, yet financial atrocities far-worse than Goodwin’s remain virtually unpunished, especially in the U.S.

Last I checked, prison cells remain fully functional throughout this once-great nation of ours. How about it, Mr. Congressman? Does this give you any ideas? Any ideas at all?

Think it might resonate with a sour electorate devastated by an ongoing recession that shows no signs of abating? Especially in an election year when congressional approval ratings struggle to stay north of those posted for sexual predators?

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The very profitable Susan G. Komen Foundation, which has become ubiquitous through its savvy marketing and corporate partnerships for heightening awareness of breast cancer recently had its own awareness of the far-right’s relentless campaign to strip women of their reproductive rights heightened when funding for breast cancer screenings was cut.

The screenings, funded by a Komen grant to Planned Parenthood, were part of a larger effort to provide low-cost reproductive and sexual health services to women who could not otherwise afford them.

The Foundation defended itself by saying that owing to recently-adopted policies, it could no longer provide funding to any group currently under congressional investigation.

The investigation in question would be courtesy of Cliff Stearns, a Republican from Florida hell-bent on preventing Planned Parenthood from destroying whatever parts of America Citizens United and unmitigated corporate greed haven’t already decimated.

Komen spokesmen maintained their decision “wasn’t political.”

Yeah, and I'm not really offended.

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Finally, in the latest example of Republican marketing genius, legislation which allows non-union employees to receive the same benefits as dues-paying members recently passed in Indiana. This parasitic bill, sure to sap unions of their financial reserves, is cheerily entitled Right to Work.

Isn’t that pretty? Gosh. Don’t we all believe in the right to work? I mean, who doesn’t?

Of course, we already possess it. But who's asking?

It’s another Republican sleight-of-hand passed on an unsuspecting populace kept blind-angry by incessant conservative yammering about transfers of wealth and high taxes and creeping socialism.

In other words, teachers are killing us!

It is my hope the folks who lap this swill up are allergic to wool in their orbital regions. For that would be their best chance at realizing they’ve again had the wool pulled over their eyes by the Republican noise machine.

What this represents is the removal of one more speed bump on the road to slave labor and one-hundred percent profit margins for our overtaxed, overregulated and overburdened corporations.

When oh when are we going to stop penalizing success?

Sniff.

Looks like I'm not the only one who scored three times.