Are the 2019 Cubs the 1987 Minnesota Twins?

For the second time in three nights, the Cubs balled-up a gorgeous pitching performance and tossed it into the trash. They may not be able to hit the side of a barn with men on base, but they're Mark Price when it comes to swishing the circular file.

Tuesday, Jose Quintana pitched six innings, allowing five hits while striking out fourteen. Owing to their clutch-averse batting, the score upon Quintana's exit was tied at two. Naturally, the Cubs went on to lose, allowing a run in each of the seventh and eighth innings.

Tonight, it didn't matter that Yu Darvish, who in this up-is-down-and-down-is-up season has emerged as the staff's ace, pitched a seven-inning, ten-strikeout, four-hit shut-out. The Cubs' bullpen, as hapless as it is overworked, again found a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory by allowing a run in the eighth and six in the bottom of the ninth.

(Wednesday's outcome didn't require the services of the bullpen, as starter Cole Hamels saved them by allowing an unfathomable eight runs in just two innings of quote-unquote “work”.)

If it even needs to be said, the Cubs are on the road, where they should labor under the name Doctors—because they make everybody better.

Miraculously, the Cubs remain tied for first in the National League Central Division—even with their odorous 23 – 38 (.377) road record. It has been a long time since a division contender possessed such a Jeckyl and Hyde personality; dominating at home while practically soiling themselves on the road.

In the fifty seasons since divisional play began, many clubs have cinched a division title with mediocre road records. 38 – 43. 40 – 41. You get the picture. But only one featured a Cubbish road record and still seized the division crown.

And that team would be the 1987 Minnesota Twins.

For those of you lacking both age and perspective, the late-eighties and early-nineties were great times for Twins' fans. With the 1987 edition featuring starters like Bert Blyleven and Frank Viola with fire-breathing reliever Jeff Reardon coming out of the bullpen, and a line-up studded with folk like Kent Hrbek, Gary Gaetti, Kirby Puckett and Tom Brunansky, the Twins could be a handful.

Especially at home.

Road games were another matter, as the team struggled to a 29 -52 record.

Yet they managed to defeat the 98-win Detroit Tigers in the ALCS, taking two out of three at Tiger Stadium.

In the World Series, the Twins faced-off against the mighty 95-win Cardinals of St. Louis.

In a seven-game classic, the Twins jumped out to a quick two-games-to-nothing lead, taking games one and two at the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome.

In typical fashion, they surrendered games three, four and five at Busch Stadium before rallying to take games six and seven at the Metrodome. Thusly, the 85-win Twins won a world championship.

I believe it's called home field advantage.

Without that option, hope resists the corrosive effects of reality and sustains the belief that, yes, the Cubs could somehow do some damage in the post-season.

After all, the 2008 Los Angeles Dodgers had the worst road record of any team in that year's MLB playoffs yet still managed to defeat the Cubs twice (outscoring them 17 -5) at Wrigley Field in the opening games of that year's NLDS series.

Yes, dreams die hard.

There Is No Lie I'm Too Ashamed to Tell

“Hate has no place in our country.”

In between the rallies and the tweets wherein he provokes precisely that, Donald Trump had the gall to put on his sincere face, stand in front of TV cameras and say this in the wake of another racially-motivated mass killing.

Aside from his base, who is he kidding? The Trump-whore has built his presidency on the exploitation of hate.

If hate didn't have a place in our country, Donald Trump would not be president.

And another thing. I hate to go all caps on you, but for those of you rightly disturbed by the fact that we can be shot anywhere at any time (even if we're a hundred-eighty degrees removed from dealing Oxycontin on dank ghetto street corners), know this:

AS LONG AS THE NRA IS WRITING OUR GUN POLICY THIS IS HOW IT'S GOING TO BE.

Think about it. We not only have a president stoking hatred, but a trade group doing everything in its considerable power to put a gun into the hands of every would-be hater out there. It is, after all, good for business.

For their immediate and formidable ability to wreak domestic terror, I'm more concerned about Donald Trump and the NRA than Kim Jong-un and Iran.

Together they are a duo only Republicans deserve. 

If only Republicans were the only ones to suffer.

Wither the Cubs?

A little over four months ago, I gamely predicted the 2019 Cubs would shrug off the weirdness of 2018 and play to their abilities. They would run, hit, pitch, catch and throw like the World Series contenders they are.

Or more specifically, were.

While the Cubs have largely pulled down the curtain on the one-run-per-game act that plagued them throughout 2018, they own one of baseball's worst batting averages with men on base, which gives their brittle bullpen precious little to work with.

Which is why they are among the league leaders in blown saves.

Several Cub notables (former MVP Kris Bryant among them) are barely hitting their weight with the bases occupied.

Never mind what happens when a left-hander shows up on the mound.

Furthermore, the Cubs' 21-33 road record translates to an anemic .388 winning percentage—the winning percentage attained by the much-feared Florida Marlins. Despite killing them at home (.678), their awful road record sabotages any chance they have of winning the division.

Could the Cubs even split their road games, they'd be sitting pretty in the National League Central—and on their way to 95 wins. But that would be doing it the easy way, and as these Cubs have made clear, doing it the easy way somehow corrupts their sense of Cubbishness.

Hair shirts, anyone?

Granted, the Cubs labor under media scrutiny known only to the New York Yankees, Los Angeles Lakers and Notre Dame and Alabama football programs.

But the 2019 Cubs are punching way below their weight. Top to bottom, they are the most-talented club in the division.

Something is very, very wrong.

Unlike the 1969 team, it hopefully won't take fifty-years to figure out what.