7 Republicans 7

I'm trying to understand how seven Republican congressmen could vote against a measure designed to restore paychecks for the 800,00 federal workers caught in the crossfire of our latest display of government dysfunction.

I mean, sure, eleven voters didn't think Babe Ruth belonged in the Hall of Fame. Unanimous decisions are a very rare thing. 

But this is different. And a little more important.

Taking a step back, we should understand the measure was an unqualified success, with strong bipartisan support. 98.3% (98.3!) of our Congress agreed this was the right thing to do.

Something to cheer—at last.

But like any inquisitive being, you have to ask yourself: who the hell would oppose this?

If it even needs clarification, let me point out that these government employees are working. Or being forced against their will not to. This isn't welfare or social security or medicare or any of the other socialist programs Republicans wet their beds over at night.

These are paychecks. For work already done.

Paychecks for people who don't enjoy all-expenses-paid golf junkets in Hawaii. Or complimentary dinners in posh restaurants. Or premium seats at Lincoln Center events.

These are people who don't enjoy deep discounts on exclusive rental properties in Georgetown because they have votes to sell.

These are people who pay their way. 

By voting against this, you have to assume the attitude of those opposed runs along the lines of screw 'em. This is the NFL announcing R Kelly will be this year's half-time entertainment at the Super Bowl. 

Let the kids suck on ketchup packets from Burger King. Let the parents beg siblings, parents and neighbors for gas money. Overdue bills? Shit, that'll just mean more money in my pocket when my bank/mortgage company/credit card forces them to pay late fees and higher interest rates.

I'm sure the Republican Seven have their reasons. As Glenn Grothman (WI) observed “That's why we're twenty-two trillion-dollars in debt. These people around here can't say no to anything.”

I don't have to think very hard to know what Grothman's reaction would be if he were the one asked to work for free or on furlough.

And neither do you.

As an anti-Republican, I suppose I should thank these misanthropes for the ammunition. For proving—once again—the lengths they will go to to enact their toxic ideology.

I should wish that Representatives Justin Amash (MI), Andy Biggs (AZ), Ken Buck (CO), Paul Gosar (AZ), Glenn Grothman (WI), Thomas Massie (KY) and Ted Yoho (FL) be made to understand—in the most vivid and immediate manner possible—the direness of the sentence they have advocated for.

Even in the Trump-inspired Dark Ages, their heartlessness is startling.