The Undeclared Emergency

The sky is falling! The sky is falling! Run! Run while you still can!

Beware. The Illinois State Legislature is on the verge of approving a new minimum wage of fifteen-dollars an hour for Illinois employees. But don't assume this is good news. For the apocalypse is upon us.

Business owners and conservative voices are already warning that this could backfire spectacularly upon working people. Cited most-often is the ominous threat that a wage-hike will impede job creation.

Which is certainly an interesting argument when you consider that even with one of the lowest minimum wages in the nation ($8.25 p/hr.), Illinois pretty much remains Typhoid Mary when it comes to seducing employers to her doorstep.

Nope. I think something else is impeding job creation in Illinois.

It's routine for business owners and conservatives to whine and wag the finger of doom whenever hourly workers stand to improve their lot. Having lived in several areas of the country, I can assure you it is not an Illinois-only phenomenon.

The ski resort of Aspen, Colorado has faced this challenge many times, and each and every time the minimum wage is raised the business community forecasts disaster. But um, the last time I checked (which was today), Aspen remains a thriving community and a high-charting travel destination with some of the most-valuable real estate in the nation.

If this constitutes disaster, could you please ship some to Illinois?

Santa Fe, New Mexico faced a similar problem when the workers employed in the hospitality industry couldn't afford to live there. Once again the minimum wage was raised amidst predictions of ruin.

Shockingly, even the most cursory check assures us that Santa Fe is still a viable and in-demand travel destination even without its wait staffs, hotel staffs, resort and retail staffs living in near-poverty.

So tell me, small business owners: when do Aspen and Santa Fe turn into ghost towns, anyway? Because I'd like to pick me up me some of that gorgeous property—cheap!

It's just my opinion, but I believe one of the most insignificant and infinitesimal problems currently facing the United States is whether the minimum wage is too high.

In an economy that can absorb the fiscal lunacy of an executive receiving a $120 million-dollar severance package, I'm pretty sure a minimum wage-hike portioned out over six (!) years isn't going to put anyone out of business.

And while my yawning, libtard maw is agape, let me add this: no one working forty-hours a week should ever be staving-off homelessness because of an insufficient wage.

No one.