Crushing on Rahimi

Maybe it's because I'm a music nut. I enjoy it because I'm sensitive to sound, and the variety of sounds found in music push my buttons in a very pleasing and engaging way. So it follows that certain human voices would resonate with me as well.

This is reason number-one I'm crushing on Leila Rahimi. I love her voice.

On the surface, this appears to be a rather flimsy foundation on which to base a crush. Tradition requires that it be rooted in some aspect of their personality or physical appearance, and yet with no actual contact with Ms. Rahimi to speak of, I must content myself with the radio show she shares with Dan Bernstein.

And it is there that I am alternately delighted, enchanted and yes—seduced by the dulcet tones of her voice.

There's a trace of a rasp which connotes authenticity and genuineness. Inflections that suggest engagement and passion. Together, they are indicative of a buoyant personality deeply connected to the world (or at least the sports) around her.

Is this not someone you'd love to watch a Bulls' game with?

Which isn't to overlook her expansive vocabulary. It bespeaks a powerful and agile intellect able to articulate any thought passing through her cerebellum. For better or for worse, she is as opinionated as you are.

There's definitely some acuity going on here.

And finally there is the laugh. Ebullient. Hearty. All-in. It is a truly great laugh. It's the sort you can't hear without smiling.

Sigh.

Alas, I am a faceless listener. A number in a ratings report. And it must be said that to some extent, she is a performer, performing.

How does she sound calling in an order to her favorite pizzeria? Or reporting a cable outage to her provider? Or telling her (presumed) significant other to stop finishing-off the Cheetos? Or letting wet laundry to molder in the washing machine?

Ah, but real life doesn't intrude upon crushes, does it? Crushes exist in a theoretical world of romantic perfection. There are no fumbled words. No awkward silences. No missed cues. No disagreement.

All concerned get everything they want. And everything they need. All the time. Does it get any better than that?

No.

And yet, I long for the opportunity to find out. What fools we mortals be.