Hearing Republicants

Incredible as it may seem, I occasionally grow impervious to whiny Republicants and anti-vaxxers.

It was Nora Joyce of Wilmette, Illinois who acted as my personal pallet cleanser and refreshed my ability to hear Republicants anew. Her recent letter to the Chicago Tribune goes as follows:

 

Mandating proof of vaccination for Cook County Park District facilities is a violation of taxpayer's rights. It is wrong to deny entry and participation in Park District facilities to people who pay Cook County property taxes just because they're unvaccinated. This vaccine order is not about safety.

I am embarrassed to reach into my wallet to show my card and continue this nonsense. Going to a facility with only vaccinated people will not prevent anyone from spreading COVID-19.

It is time for taxpayers to speak up about this nonsense.

Ah, Nora. What a lovely read. And continuing on the bright side, thank you for getting vaccinated.

But now I must journey to the not-so-bright side.

In your letter, you fail to mention what the vaccinate mandate is about. 

Perhaps the big, evil government you presumably dislike is a believer in the axiom use it or lose it, and is throwing its weight around merely to sustain its ability to throw it around.

Or perhaps they're trying to discourage people from using Park District facilities, so that one day a vulture capitalist might buy them and convert same into gated communities with the (yawn) attendant golf course.

Wouldn't that be nice?

There, you could cavort with unvaccinated folk minus the paralyzing social embarrassment of having to show a vaccine card and play the discreet form of Russian Roulette you seem to crave.

On second thought, maybe the big, evil government just wants to embarrass you.

Yeah, that's it.

Your repeated mention of 'taxpayer' and 'taxpayer rights' intrigued me. Is there a separate set of rights accorded to taxpayers? Because I spent hours scouring the Internet and couldn't find them, much less how paying them guarantees you access to anything. 

If you'll trouble yourself to look at the breakdown of your annual property taxes, the overwhelming percentage of them goes to your local school district. Only a teeny-tiny percentage goes to your local park district. 

To quote the late, great Groucho Marx: would you like to leave in a huff or shall I call a cab?  

And finally, Nora, I'm not aware of a health care official ever saying that gathering solely with vaccinated folk would prevent the spread of COVID-19. I think the word you're looking for is reduce. Lessen. Mitigate.

Surely your either-or, black-or-white brain remains capable of making such distinctions?

Alas, probably not.

But the biggest question your letter presents is why you even got vaccinated in the first place.

Really hoping your ovaries are dried up and shriveled, Nora. Please don't reproduce.