Fueling Speculation

I'm confused. I mean, I know I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. If I were, I would be sodomizing you from my office on Wall Street. But I drive a bus. Could this be the reason I am unable to puzzle out how cheap gas could be bad for the economy?

Despite the inroads made by electric cars, hybrids and more-efficient internal combustion engines, we remain a nation quite literally over an oil barrel. Be it getting to work, distributing consumer goods or taking the kids to soccer practice, we use gas. Lots of it. We can't function without it.

So when gas prices rise, its impact, combined with stagnant wages, is significant. A larger and larger portion of our income is devoted to fuel, leaving less and less for everything else. While this is wildly and exorbitantly wonderful for our oil companies, it is not so good for the rest of us.

And yet, after gas prices have steadily fallen for months, certain entities are propagating the idea that low gas prices not only impact the bottom lines of Royal Dutch Shell and Exxon, but are injurious to the economy as a whole.

How can it be that something which frees up billions of dollars, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed little dollars ready, willing and able to make their acquaintance with the remainder of the economy, be bad?

The answer is it can't.

Now, I've already indicated that I know as much about economics as House Republicans do about foreign policy, but I know for damn sure that cheap gas is better than expensive gas.

Rather than asking whether cheap gas is bad or good for the economy, perhaps a better question would be for whose economy is cheap gas harmful?

I think we already know.

Ripping a page from the Republican fear-mongering manual, industry trade associations are preying upon the fears of a citizenry recently out from under the dark cloud of a brutal recession, itching to impart the idea that low gas prices are a symptom of an economy about to go belly up.

The economy may well do exactly that, but you paying $2.49 per gallon of unleaded won't be the reason.

This falls right in line with previous industry explanations for price increases, shortages and other disruptions. It's the ____________ driving season. The threat of violence in ____________. And my favorite: a refinery is closed for maintenance.

Remarkable hardly describes the gluttony and manipulation oil companies, which receive billions in government subsidies (that's right--we pay them to look for the oil that we, well, pay for), feel entitled in foisting upon we the people. 

If you remain unconvinced, or are of the mind that Obama's Cheap Gas is reckless, destructive and a road to incipient socialism, I've included the addresses of our largest oil companies below.

Feel free to send them the difference between the per gallon price you paid today and the amount you feel guarantees a strong economy.

As for me, I'm ripping a page from the Who songbook. You know, the one about not getting fooled again.

Royal Dutch Shell PLC

Carel van Bylandtlaan 16, 2596 HR

The Hague, The Netherlands

Exxon Mobil Corporation

5959 Las Colinas Blvd
Irving, TX, 75039 United States

British Petroleum Company PLC

International Headquarters
1 St James's Square
London, SW1Y 4PD

Chevron Corporation

6001 Bollinger Canyon Rd.
San Ramon, CA, 94583 United States

Total SA

2 Place Jean Millier
Courbevoie, Hauts De Seine, 92400 France

Flip-Floppin' with Bobby Jindal

If there’s an amusing aspect to the sordid goings-on in the Gulf, it’s the specter of Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal pleading for aid from the federal government.

That would be the same Bobby Jindal who made such a show of declaring his unshakeable belief in personal responsibility, small government and state sovereignty following President Obama's 2009 State of the Union address.

The same Bobby Jindal who made such a show of decrying the stimulus package. And every other piece of legislation enacted during the reckless and socialist Obama regime.

But when faced with an environmental tragedy, who does Governor Tea-Bag turn to? That's right, the federal government. The same evil and invasive federal government who wantonly trampled his state’s sovereignty and forced unwanted stimulus cash down its throat.

John Kerry isn’t the only one who knows a thing or two about flip-flopping, is he Governor?

I'll tell you what, Bobby. I would hate to compromise your ideology by imposing federal aid on you—not after you made such a compelling argument against it last year.

Why don’t you ask your corporate pals for help? You know, remind them what you said about accountability. About the importance of keeping government out of our lives.

What’s that? They’re tied up in legal? Oh. Sorry.

This isn’t situational ethics—it’s situation comedy. One we need cancelled as soon as possible.

Corporate Accountability (With Strings)

Now that we’ve accorded the rights of the individual to corporations, I’m wondering if perhaps we shouldn’t extend the liabilities as well.

Our latest corporate disaster, the Deepwater Horizon offshore drilling project, presents a perfect case in point.

As a job-seeker, I am repeatedly told that cardinal sin number-one is overstating your abilities and credentials. It is grounds for no-questions-asked termination.

Yet the two failed attempts at shutting down the fountain of oil that is spewing a quarter-million gallons of oil into the Gulf of Mexico every day clearly indicate that British Petroleum wildly overstated its capacity to deal with a problem of this magnitude.

Requiring them to absorb the cost of the clean-up and make restitution to the afflicted parties would seem to be the most-obvious solution.

Unfortunately, the guardians of the corporation that we pretend are our elected representation have limited oil company liability in these instances to just seventy-five million-dollars, or the rough equivalent of one day’s income for a company that earned six billion-dollars in the first-quarter of 2010.

Further proof of how deeply the corporate virus has infected the government of the United States would be that big oil was awarded this cap in exchange for an eight-cent-a-barrel tax on the oil they produce.

When was the last time the government asked you what concessions you needed in order to absorb a new tax? A couple of days? Months? A year or two ago?

Or never.

Publicly, BP has said all the right things. But per usual, actions speak louder than words. And BP has already begun to divest itself of culpability by insinuating that the cause of the spill lies with the out-sourced manager of the rig, Transocean Ltd.

I’m guessing BP’s squadron of highly-paid legal counsel has already begun to outline its defense strategy. And that victims won’t get paid if BP doesn’t get paid.

This ongoing tragedy will have repercussions far beyond the duration of the oil’s flow from the Gulf floor.

Most tragic is the persistent belief that allowing oil companies to drill within the United States somehow protects the United States from its dependence on foreign oil. This is the “Drill Baby, Drill!” crowd’s favorite argument.

Unfortunately, I’ve never had the opportunity to ask them why they believe oil drilled in the United States will (or even must) be sold in the United States. The naiveté is staggering.

For those blinded by the right, businesse's only allegiance is to profit. Exxon, Royal Dutch Shell and British Petroleum don’t care where the oil came from. Only where they can sell it for the best (i.e. highest) price.

There is no law which demands that oil drilled or refined in the United States must be sold in the United States. In other words, you’re not guaranteed an endless supply of gasoline for your GMC Yukon XL because it was drilled off the coast of Louisiana.

Is that plain-enough for you? Do you get it now?

So. While individuals are responsible for the claims they make, corporations with the rights of individuals have liability caps to protect them in the event their propaganda is shown to be something less than true.

God bless the Corporate States of America. I am so very thankful I have never had to defend them in war.