What We Got

In the midst of a nine-day stretch of zero-sun days, there isn't much that could exacerbate the gloom. That is, except for Republicans.

Yes, the alpha dogs of greed, fraud and hypocrisy in our Senate have essentially acquitted the most-corrupt president in American history of virtually any and all wrongdoing. 

But in doing so, they have bestowed an unintentional gift upon us. They have shown us exactly who they are. Laid bare their agenda. No PR spin. No walking it back. No accusations of being misquoted by the so-called “liberal media”.

Just the naked, raw truth.

And it is this: these Republicans don't care. Not about the integrity of our government. Not about corruption or deceit or the rule of law. Not about air we breathe or the water we drink. They're not concerned about our health care or our social security or our lives.

(Unless you happen to be a fetus, in which case it is highly-unlikely you are reading this. But even that concern extends only to the end of the birth canal.)

What Senate Republicans care about is appeasing the emotionally and intellectually-stunted bully inhabiting the White House. Wielding control. Saving their jobs.

Not making Trumpy-bear mad.

The fifty-one cowards who maintained that Donald J. Trump did nothing wrong as they systematically denied their colleagues the chance to present witnesses and evidence are the low-water mark of our history.

When The Rise and Fall of the American Democracy is written rest assured they will have starring roles.

Tell me: if Donald did nothing wrong, why the anxiety over witnesses? Evidence? Why the organized obstruction? Why the unanswered subpoenas? The lies?

I know why. You know why. They know why.

The word doesn't exist that describes the moral apathy exhibited by these gutless and spineless sycophants. In a better world, Donald Trump would be lying prone at the base of his toilet—a half-finished Tweet unsent on his phone. 

Mitch McConnell, William Barr, Rudy Giuliani, Mike Pompeo, Steven Mnuchin, Mick Mulvaney and Lindsey Graham (otherwise known as the offal that enables and sustains the Trump-whore) would be in prison.

Or asking if you'd like hot sauce with that at an open all night Taco Bell drive-through.

And the retards who voted for him would be prohibited from ever exercising that right again. Mostly on the grounds that they're, well, stupid.

Here's a list of the feeble fifty-one. Feel free to call, text or e-mail them with your thoughts.

Don't be shy.

And don't forget to vote with extreme prejudice come November.

Lamar Alexander (R-TN)

John Barrasso (R-WY)

Marsha Blackburn (R-TN)

Roy Blunt (R-MO)

John Boozman (R-AR)

Mike Braun (R-IN)

Richard Burr (R-NC)

Shelley Capito (R-WV)

Bill Cassidy (R-LA)

John Cornyn (R-TX)

Tom Cotton (R-AR)

Kevin Cramer (R-ND)

Mike Crapo (R-ID)

Ted Cruz (R-TX)

Steve Daines (R-MT)

Michael Enzi (R-WY)

Joni Ernst (R-IA)

Deb Fischer (R-NE)

Cory Gardner (R-CO)

Lindsey Graham (R-SC)

Chuck Grassley (R-IA)

Josh Hawley (R-MO)

John Hoeven (R-ND)

Cindy Hyde-Smith (R-MS)

James Inhofe (R-OK)

Ron Johnson (R-WI)

John Kennedy (R-LA)

James Lankford (R-OK)

Mike Lee (R-UT)

Kelly Loeffler (R-GA)

Mitch McConnell (R-KY)

Martha McSally (R-AZ)

Jerry Moran (R-KS)

Lisa Murkowski (R-AK)

Rand Paul (R-KY)

David Perdue (R-GA)

Rob Portman (R-OH)

James Risch (R-ID)

Pat Roberts (R-KS)

Mike Rounds (R-SD)

Marco Rubio (R-FL)

Ben Sasse (R-NE)

Rick Scott (R-FL)

Tim Scott (R-SC)

Richard Shelby (R-AL)

Dan Sullivan (R-AK)

John Thune (R-SD)

Thom Tillis (R-NC)

Patrick Toomey (R-PA)

Roger Wicker (R-MS)

Todd Young (R-IN)

Donald Trump is President. This Is What I've Learned.

Educators have long maintained we can learn anywhere. And from anyone. Woe unto us were learning confined to the classroom.

And so it is that despite my smoldering contempt for president forty-five, I have learned from him. For instance, I have learned that when confronted with accusations you feel are false, the best thing to do is prove it.

Let's say there are suspicions regarding your financial dealings, and a request is made to examine your tax returns. It has become standard operating procedure for people in your position to submit them, as they are prove with unshakeable certainty that your extensive business dealings are legal and above board.

You have nothing to hide. What would be the point of obfuscation?

Repeatedly denying those requests, endlessly parroting a lame excuse for your non-compliance and taking legal action up to and including the Supreme Court would only add fuel to the fires of suspicion, would it not?

That's just silly.

Another example. You're the holder of a political office. It has been alleged that you have sought the help of a foreign government in collecting dirt on a political opponent. You have also been charged with threatening to withhold nearly half-a-billion dollars in foreign aid should this government fail to play along.

Displaying the political acumen you have accumulated in your long years of public service, you slam this door shut with a resounding finality by cooperating with your accusers, opening the books to any and all investigation that in the end, will paint your naysayers as the desperate, clutching fools that they are.

Again, what would be the point of denials? Refusals? Obstruction? Those are the tools of guilty men.

Is the last laugh not also the sweetest?

So yes. This is what I've learned from our latest (and greatest) president. When one finds themselves in the middle of a witch hunt, the best thing to do is fling open the closet doors and dare your opponents to find the witch costume.

Well-played, Mr. President. You, sir, are a genius.