Truth Decay

I only wish the most detestable thing I ever had to do for a job was get a shot. Or share my vaccination status. Or get tested for COVID twice a week.

Apparently it is for Chicago police officers and many of the city's municipal employees. Even with their lavish pensions and hearty salaries, they are outraged by Mayor Lightfoot's COVID vaccine mandate and have filed suit against the city.

Gulp.

I had to take all manner of shit while employed as a cashier for Home Depot during the Great Recession. While the lowest-paid employees in the store, the position also featured its most-demanding metrics. They were a circular firing squad of contradictory and mutually-exclusive demands.

For instance, the 'Security' metric required me to root through a contractor's flatbed cart to search for saw blades and silver solder hidden between bags of cement mix and boxes of shingles while simultaneously delighting them with radiant customer service.

Oh, and this needed to be done very quickly. Because beyond meeting the 'Friendly and courteous' metric I needed to fulfill the 'Speed of checkout' one, too. Since they were already put-off by the assumption of theft we certainly didn't want them hanging around any longer than necessary, did we?

“Thank you for shopping at Home Depot and have a great day!”

One example of the surly gentlemen who frequented our store were the pair who commented “Wish I could stand around with my hands in my pockets all day” as they passed my register.

First off, my hands weren't in my pockets. And secondly, store policy required me to stand at the head of the aisle when I wasn't actively processing a customer and could theoretically flag down anyone ready to check-out.

As an inveterate customer service professional and an endlessly helpful soul, I couldn't let this customer's wish go unfulfilled. Which is why I responded “You can! At Home Depot dot com slash jobs!”

My insouciance wasn't taken in the spirit in which it was offered and the toxic twins leveled a complaint about me to persons unknown. Not only did I hear from my department manager but the store manager as well.

After listening to their spiels about the importance of our customers, I told them I didn't care who the complainants were—I wasn't going to be a punching bag for our customers merely because I had a Home Depot apron on.

Mystifyingly, I neglected to thank them for their support.

The memory smolders, still.

You'll excuse me if I can't quite recall the details of my pension and other benefits because there weren't any. I did mention I earned $8.40 an hour, right? And that my hours were strictly limited to spare Home Depot the ruinous financials presented by full-time employees?

Yeah.

But at least I wasn't required to get a shot.

So yes, my heart bleeds for Chicago's cops and the scores of municipal employees being made to bear the outrage of having to inoculate oneself during a pandemic. It's like being made to exit a burning building, is it not?

Lead Fraternal Order of Police troll John Catanzara, whose sole talent in life is intransigence, is threatening a massive call-in by Chicago's finest should Mayor Lightfoot follow through on the expectations outlined in her mandate.

Catanzara's mental acuity is on display when, after his predecessor's death from COVID last week, he refused to acknowledge the existence of the virus or the threat it presents to the members of his union.

(It is interesting to note that despite his public anti-vaxxer stance, Catanzara is vaccinated. And exactly what do the chumps who elected him think of that?)

It is again on display when the fact is made public that more cops have died from COVID than from all Black Lives Matter protests combined. (It isn't even close.) But is COVID a threat? Should cops vaccinate? Nope.

I'm reminded of Monty Python's Argument Clinic, wherein Terry Jones attempts to explain to John Cleese that “...an argument is a connected series of statements to establish a definite proposition”, to which Cleese answers “Not it isn't.”

Exasperated, Jones goes on to complain that this isn't an argument—it's contradiction. Cleese's response? “No it isn't.”

But in the end this isn't really about masks and vaccines, is it?

Nope. It's the same dynamic playing out between President Biden and Mitch McConnell in Washington DC. It's about control. Republicans created this power-at-all-costs dynamic and it's about nothing more than resisting Democrats.

Slit your throat. Or the public's. We don't care. But don't ever accede to a Democrat!

With things like the greater good and public health thrown under the bus for a prolonged sibling rivalry more appropriate for the sandbox than our halls of government, it's tempting to feel the looming global warming cataclysm couldn't have come at a better time.

Sorry for the misanthropic streak, but there you go.

Counting Chickens

"I am not a member of any organized political party. I'm a Democrat."

-Will Rogers


There is a new group of young Democrats emerging in this election cycle. It is probably as inevitable as sunrise following sunset.

And this is a good thing. Without an injection of new blood, any organization, be it a sports franchise, a business or yes, even a political party, will wither and die. So those of us commonly called Democrats should embrace young candidates like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Conor Lamb and Rashida Thaib.

Youthful exuberance and wizened experience creates a dynamic cherished not only in locker rooms but in board rooms and back rooms. The young energize the old and reboot their passion, while the old impart experience and how best to channel boundless energy into useful action.

But as referenced in the Will Rogers quote, things don't always go so smoothly.

As the young are wont to do, they wish to remake the party in their image. Now. It's a case of revolution, not evolution. If Josef Stalin were at the head of the table such impetuousness would not only be prudent but recommended.

But these young Democrats have no such enemy.

Yet in their eyes, House minority speaker Nancy Pelosi is the leaden plow holding them back from recasting the party in a glorious new form. They proffer wan smiles and shoulder shrugs when asked about their support for Pelosi.

It's almost as if they've been listening to the raft of Republican-sponsored, Pelosi-centric attack ads.

The truth (and I hope these young Democrats are listening) is this: REPUBLICANS ARE SPENDING MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF DOLLARS ATTACKING NANCY PELOSI BECAUSE THEY ARE AFRAID OF HER!

YOU GET THAT, RIGHT?

THEY FEAR HER BECAUSE SHE'S A WELL-CONNECTED AND EFFECTIVE FUND RAISER. THEY FEAR HER BECAUSE SHE'S A SAVVY CONSENSUS BUILDER. AND THEY FEAR HER BECAUSE IN THIS, THE AGE OF FEMALE EMPOWERMENT, SHE'S A HIGHLY-VISIBLE EXAMPLE THAT RESONATES WITH MILLIONS OF VOTERS.

WHILE THE SQUARE PEG DOESN'T ENDORSE THE OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM, THIS MUST BE SAID: NANCY PELOSI IS A WEAPON!

AND SHE PLAYS FOR OUR SIDE!

Whew. OK.

So going forward, maybe we should actually win some seats in the House and Senate before we start the intra-family squabbling.

You think?

There are millions and millions of stupid, angry Republicans who will support the Trump-whore and his putrid collection of sycophants no matter what. The whore himself once said "I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose voters."

Sadly, he wasn't wrong.

Borrowing the victims from the well-known Monty Python sketch 'The Piranha Brothers', Trump supporters would rather have their heads nailed to the floor than admit he wasn't the best possible option for president.

With opposition like this, Democrats need to make a concerted and unified effort to keep their eyes on the prize. As its name implies, the Blue Wave is a singular, overwhelming force.

It is my hope that our fresh infusion of young Democrats understands this before making waves of their own.