What's Really Bothering You?

Perhaps my misanthropic streak is a bit overdeveloped. But, speaking as a white man who has been one for the majority of his life, I have to ask this of white supremacists: what is so blindingly great about white people?

What is it that is so inherently superior about us that it drives you to extremes like mass murder to advance your point of view? Why do you feel we and we alone should rule the world? Even worse, why do you feel that we and we alone should populate the world?

Yes, white people have contributed some wonderful things to world culture: Democracy, baseball, classical music, penicillin and Stand 'N Stuff taco shells.

But does hands-free taco preparation really qualify us to rule the world?

We have participated in genocide. We have imposed brutish regimes upon people, subjugating them for commerce and political power. We have ruthlessly exploited and degraded planet Earth, even when we knew better.

We have raped—and pillaged.

So what is it?

Could it be that you suffer from some sort of sensory issue? Do you identify with the band Van Halen, who couldn't handle the sight of brown M&Ms in their post-concert candy dish? Is it a case of homogeneous or hell for you?

I'm guessing you feel like a failure. You feel everyone has it easier than you. You resent any competition for your victimhood, which in this case are immigrants. Never mind they are frequently attempting to escape deprivation and abuse you can't imagine.

Like a middle child, you rail at any attention not directed at you, and seek to harm its recipients.

In a perverse sort of over-compensation, you also feel superior to immigrants, if only because you don't look like them. And the ignorant society in which you live sees more potential, diverts more resources and seems to care more for these inferior beings than it does for the likes of you.

It's an outrage, isn't it?

And only you have the answer.

One of the great quirks of humanity is its belief in qualitative monopolies. Only this demographic is qualified to lead. Only this demographic can be trusted. Only this demographic is intelligent.

The inconvenient truth is that no group has a monopoly on anything, expect perhaps its skin color.

Humanity is an impossibly complex and unpredictable mass of abilities and prejudices and dreams. Despite the alluring simplicity that encourages us to believe that A is always and unequivocally this and B is always and unequivocally that, it simply is not true.

Non-whites are no more a scourge than whites are a godsend.

Perhaps this segment of our population, immersed in a simmering rage as it sees itself marginalized while another portion of our population pull farther and farther away economically, will one day understand who the real enemy is.

Per usual, I'm not holding my breath.

The Tyranny of Social Media

It's an amazing bit of confluence, really. That on the thirtieth anniversary of James Hansen's press conference confirming the existence of global warming our latest and perhaps most-puerile example of overheated social media outrage should emerge.

First, let me be clear: I am not a fan of social media. It amplifies our worst characteristics and encourages our most anti-social impulses as it places thoughtless, knee-jerk rants from borderline lunatics alongside sober opinions and vetted facts and confers legitimacy upon each.

Go ahead. Call me a snob. Call me pretentious. Call me someone who thinks than he's better than everyone else. But here's the thing: I don't offer opinions and present them as facts. And when facts are presented, they're researched to ensure accuracy.

In other words, I am not Pete Gaines.

For those of you who don't know, Pete Gaines possesses an otherworldly ability to discern one's moral fiber simply by gazing at their license plate. Gaines' additional talents are put on display when he simultaneously acts as prosecutor, judge and jury and posts to social media the results of his exhaustive investigations.

Take the poor sap who was motoring along in a Tesla, his car unfortunate enough to bear a four-digit license plate. While the rest of us would have continued along, aiding and abetting this heinous criminal in happy ignorance, Pete Gaines knew better.

Because he is Pete Gaines. And we're not.

He just knew there was a white supremacist within. A white supremacist who needed to be called-out and harassed. Fortunately for Illinois taxpayers, Gaines could circumvent the twin inconveniences of law enforcement and our judicial system simply by tweeting his revelation worldwide:

Hey @ILSecOfState why do you allow Nazis to get Nazi slogans on their Tesla's personalized license plates?  

The denizens of the digital landscape (mostly unschooled in the art of critical thinking) could then devour the bait provided by Gaines and excrete their comments in kind. Among the considered remarks: “If you see this car in Illinois burn it.” “Bust his windows and slash his tires.”

Good ideas, all. And thanks for not letting the complete absence of facts and proof dissuade you. Because the fact that it appeared on Twitter is proof-enough, isn't it? You, like, have to prove everything you tweet, right?

If it even matters, it was later revealed the Tesla owner had never been, was not currently nor did he plan to be a white supremacist at any point in the future. But the damage was done. The story had crested. 

They're only facts, right?

Most importantly, the lizard-brained trolls who inhabit social media and fancy themselves as both the arbitrators and guardians of public morality even as they help to destroy it got to spew.

Sharing a half-baked conspiracy theory based on a decades-old fashion with the urgency of ISIS insurgents parading up your driveway is massively irresponsible. It makes you as spiteful and as paranoid as the people you purport to abhor.

I forget: who said we become what we hate?

Anyway, I think I finally understand how Donald Trump was elected. And why the massive ice sheets in Greenland, Antarctica and the Arctic are melting.

God help us.