Monday, July 5, 2021

It's That Voodoo That Tom Do

Way before I did, Tom Ricketts realized he had an expectations problem. Saddled with a civic institution of a baseball team and its fan's elevated expectations, he faced a quandary: how do I achieve fiscal austerity, maximize my rate of return and yet convince the public I am vested in this team and its ongoing success?

Distressed that the cash tsunami he anticipated when he purchased the Cubs had yet to materialize, Tom had become irritable. And the public pressure that accompanied the re-signing of three stalwarts, which meant three more expensive long-term contracts that only guaranteed he'd be on the hook for a lot of money, was only making things worse.

Tom thought. And thought. He consulted with consultants. He lost himself in the creation and examination of scenarios. It would be a public relations disaster to trade Anthony Rizzo, Kris Bryant and Javier Baez. As it would to let them leave via free-agency.

And yet, hadn't he spent enough money?

How could he duck re-signing the threesome (one of whom was on the wrong side of thirty, the other injury-prone and the third having seemingly peaked by the age of twenty-eight) without being crucified by Cub fans and the media? In what kind of environment could let his his three stars go without giving the faithful cause to take-up pitchforks and torches?

Ah-ha! I've got it! I'll make them bad! I'll have Hoyer gut the pitching staff! We can let Jon Lester and Jose Quintana and Tyler Chatwood go to free-agency and trade Yu Darvish! Hell, he's a Cy Young contender and he's under contract! And while Kyle Hendricks is pretty damn good, there's no way he can carry a team!

And best of all, we have no prospects on the farm! It's genius! I can dump salaries today and it'll pave the way to saving even more tomorrow! No wonder I'm a billionaire! And the fans? As soon as those bi-polar crybabies get a load of the new Cubs they won't give a crap what happens!”

And so it was done. The team momentarily veered off-course in May, but is now back to exploring the multitudinous varieties of futility. A rejuvenated Craig Kimbrel is playing like he didn't get the memo, but with the trade deadline just three-weeks and change away, he won't be a problem for long.

Collectively at their career lows, it will be interesting to see what Rizzo, Bryant and Baez fetch—not that it matters.

The heavens will part and ol' Tom will soon be rolling in it. He knows, like we all know, that when it comes to Wrigley Field and the Cubs, the product on the field is less-important than where they play. And he can make money far more cheaply than he would fielding a contender.

Besides, with a championship in the bank, he's set for the next century.

Right?


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