If failure is the best teacher, I ought to be a genius by now.
Does Tyler Perry have to put his name on everything?
If vehicle size were penis length, pick-up truck drivers would be the biggest dicks around. Oh wait—they are.
What would happen if we never heard the words ‘iconic’, ‘extreme’ and ‘transparency’ ever again?
Contrary to popular belief, politicians do keep their campaign promises—the ones made in private to their corporate sponsors.
If positive thinking really influenced outcomes, we’d all be lottery winners.
Maitre’d: Reservations? Me: Oh no—we’re happy to be here!
James McMurtry’s “We Can’t Make It Here” should be the national anthem.
The reason the wealthy need more money than the rest of us is they pay so much for everything!
If I were unemployed in 1628, I could say I was flat baroque.