Taking Stock

And I thought 2017 was bad. I have stopped watching Saturday Night Live because I no longer find Donald Trump funny. Everyday I realize anew he is an involuntarily-administered dose of the HIV virus.

In between tweeting obsessively, inserting himself into hypothetical life-or-death situations, assessing third-world countries and spending weekends in Florida, the Trump-whore has somehow managed to unplug the Environmental Protection Agency and moved to kill Planned Parenthood, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau and abolish net neutrality.

Given the incessant staff turnover and the time-consuming challenges of defending himself from innumerable investigations and law suits, it is—in its way—laudable. I'm sure Trump's predecessors are amazed at his ability to condense the demands of the presidency into a five-day work week.

But as King Donald would only be too eager to tell you, his accomplishments don't end there. (Don't tell him, but King Donald's biggest accomplishment is making George Bush number-two look like Abraham Lincoln.)

The anti-immigration president, husband to two foreign-born wives, has also installed a record number of federal judges for a first-year president. Which reminds me of a joke I heard in the early-eighties: You know what the difference is between true love and herpes? Herpes is forever.

Finally, our corporate banks are struggling—again.

It is King Donald's considered opinion that we need to take out our legislative jackhammer and break-up the regulatory speed bumps that inhibit these fine and upstanding institutions from harvesting the vast amounts of cash they feel is rightfully theirs.

Rich guys need money too, you know.

Lest you take offense to any of this, the nearest moron with a 'Make America Great Again' baseball cap will be only too happy to remind you: “He gave you a temporary tax break you ungrateful shithead! So shut the fuck up!”

This is only the tip of the iceberg. There exists so much more, with more yet to come.

A cashier at the local supermarket called me “hon" just last week. Maybe I should break into my happy dance.