The United States of Stupid (Chapter Two)

In urban areas across the U.S., conservatives are assembling (often in groups of more than fifty), turning a blind eye to social-distancing guidelines and as they do so very, very well, ignoring facts.

Like the ones which point out that the Coronavirus has yet to run its course, and isn't even close to receding. Not when states like Georgia and Massachusetts and Illinois continue to post record numbers of new cases and Corona-related deaths.

But what's a pandemic compared to being able to trot down to your favorite mall, restaurant or movie theatre and spread the Coronavirus to friends and strangers alike? Or go back to work and congregate at the a.) water cooler b.) coffee-maker or c.) lunchroom microwave and share not only your heroic stories of sheltering in place but the Coronavirus, too?

Now if we could reach some kind of accord wherein conservatives would only infect other conservatives, I'd sign off on that faster than Donald Trump can inform you of his magnificence. I mean, fuck 'em. Good riddance.

Sadly, this is not possible.

Barrack Obama observed a few years ago that Donald Trump is not the cause of our failing society, but a symptom of it. To my ears, this is simply the most brilliant thing the ex-President has ever said.

Our towering egos, our impatience, our selfishness and our ignorance is reflected verbatim in the preening, sneering, arrogant puss of the creature who currently calls the White House home. The Open America Now protests are only the best example.

Information technology has created in us the feeling that we're geniuses because we can look things up on Google. Education and experience have been cheapened. “I don't care if you spent four years in pharmacology school! I looked it up online and you're wrong!”

The legions of medical professionals cautioning us against returning to normal so soon don't know what they're talking about. That 'Take Back America' page on Facebook will set those lockdown lib-tards straight!

In this, the age of conspiracy theories, let me add one more to the sewer-bound torrent: I think this is a plot by conservatives to start another round of Coronavirus infections and give Donald Trump another chance at getting his response right. 

Yep. The best way to revive the economy is with another round of COVID19 infections! 

Yay!

Our political divide has never been pretty. Wouldn't it be ironic if it was fatal?

As a young man, I had a great deal of interest in the Dark Ages. I couldn't understand how after centuries of progress, a civilization could go backwards. It was like a river reversing its course and flowing upstream.

Now I know.

P.S. When do we begin burning witches?

Now? Really?

With one-hundred percent of Americans tested, an effective anti-dote now available and new cases shrinking to numbers barely visible with the naked eye, The Great Man is pushing hard for us to jump into our cars, hop on our trains and ride our buses back to work.

As he eagerly tweeted today, LIBERATE MINNESOTA! LlBERATE MICHIGAN! LIBERATE VIRGINIA! 

Aided and abetted by the same noisy, mentally-challenged folk who put him in the White House (who are actually protesting the measures being taken to prevent the spread of the Coronavirus and, by extension, themselves) Trump adopted a softer tone at today's (cough) news briefing.

But given his abject fear of a campaign-crashing recession, you have to know he'll be working tirelessly behind the scenes, twisting arms and making threats. It must be remembered: Donald loves power even more than he loves money and celebrity. He will stop at nothing to quench his thirst.

(Personally, I'm just sorry there wasn't a camera pointed at his crotch as he riffed on the limitless power of the president earlier this week.)

Almost as bad are those of us moaning about being bored, pandemic or not. Yes, pandemics suck. I'm sorry. But your boredom is the price we have to pay. Besides, you were never promised that life would be a stream of unlimited, twenty-four seven entertainment. Deal with it.

Can we agree the ADHD among us should never, ever make this decision?

We know so little about the Coronavirus. Can't we at least develop a vaccine before we resume stuffing our offices and our transportation networks? Or test more than one-percent of the population before having factory workers return to working side by side on the nation's assembly lines?

How about waiting until N95 surgical masks return to their pre-pandemeic prices before we send workers back cutting meat and processing our fruit and vegetables? Is waiting for hand sanitizer to make a return to grocery store shelves asking too much?

In an administration fraught with stupidity, recklessness and selfishness, this is Trump at his most-stupid, most-reckless and most-selfish. The well-being of America's citizenry should be treated like a star athlete and not be returned to action until all concerned are absolutely sure they are ready.

Which isn't now.

To outraged conservatives, I say this: we need to clench. We need to stay calm and understand this thing, eradicate it and make sure we're much-better prepared the next time a virus emerges.

Given our level of unpreparedness and the unwillingness of so many of us to shelter in place because it's inconvenient and worse—boring—we need to step it up. Big time. This ain't no game.

I want to live. And I want you to live. And if Trump doesn't win re-election, life will go on.

I promise.

Co-existing with COVID19

As a frequent critic of America and Americans, I am forced to set aside my misanthropic tendencies and remark on the amazing-ness happening all around us.

Many businesses—open by necessity to the public—have done a remarkable job of adapting protective measures for their employees and customers while still remaining accessible and open for business.

Take the simple genius of designating one set of doors as entrance-only and another for exit-only. This allows pedestrians to avoid face-to-face encounters, which I'm guessing are the most-effective at spreading the Coronavirus.

One-way aisles are another. And for the same reasons as dedicated entrances and exits. Some stores are even limiting the number of patrons at any given time to ensure that social-distancing is not theoretical.

And lastly, we have the surgical masks presumably supplied by employers for the safety of both their employees and their customers. While you could argue these masks have a higher purpose in ERs and ICUs and other medical settings, preventing the spread of infections is likewise critical.

Gay, straight, black, white, male, female, boomer or young Z Gen just beginning to make their way in the world, we all go to the grocery store. (It is perhaps the last thing we have in common.) It is obvious that preventive measures should be in place not only there, but up and down the food chain.

Trump and his rampant deregulation couldn't have offered a bigger target for COVID19 as far as this sector of the economy is concerned, and we are beyond lucky it wasn't impacted more-seriously than it was.

There are the trucks drivers supplying those stores, and the warehouse workers loading those trucks. Think of where we'd be without them.

Then there are the CNAs and nurses and social workers who do at-home care and continue to visit their patients, even at great risk to themselves. In a better world, they would receive automatic immunity for their selflessness.

The bank employees maintaining our access to our money. The postal employees making sure we get our mail. The restaurant owners and employees doing their best to offer us the delights most of us are unable to create in our own kitchens (if not for lack of trying).

Firemen and EMTs are still putting out fires and responding to medical emergencies. The police are still policing and making sure things don't get too far out of hand.

And then there are the doctors and nurses in the belly of the beast, working under conditions I can't begin to imagine. In hot spots like New York City, I don't know how they do it. How do they overcome the mental and physical fatigue? The mounting despair? The collective weight of desperate patients begging and pleading with them to save their lives? The needs and demands of their families? The conveyor belt of corpses?

Calling it overwhelming doesn't seem sufficient. And I haven't even touched on the shortages of essential equipment and supplies.

I wish I could offer something other than my eternal regard.

While we have seen the worst of us (the hoarders attempting to exploit the pandemic through online marketplaces, the senseless churches who confuse the restrictions on public gatherings as an assault on their right to practice religion and just about anything having to do with Donald Trump), we have seen the best of us.

We have the benefit of medical professionals who know what to do to prevent the spread of the Coronavirus. All we have to do is listen.

I mean, how easy is that?

Yes, tens of millions of people have lost their jobs. But unlike the Great Recession, the feeling here is that recovery will happen comparatively quickly. You should remember that markets weren't depressed for financial reasons. They crashed owing to a pandemic.

People cannot wait for things to return to normal. We will shop. We will eat out. We will go to the movies, watch ballgames and listen to music en masse. And attending these activities along with us will be our wallets and handbags. 

Americans are perhaps the world's most-impatient people, but if we can be the people we say we are on Facebook, this will be easy-peasy.

LPG out.

Leadershit

I'll admit to being incapable of suppressing a smirk at the news that British Prime Minister Boris Johnson, a proponent of letting the Coronavirus burn through the population and damn the consequences, tested positive himself.

As Donald Trump's tousle-haired twin, the irony couldn't have been greater.

Turning stateside, well, we have Donald.

After shutting down the National Security Council Directorate for Global Health Security and Biodefense because pandemics don't really happen, Trump then referred to the COVID19 outbreak as a hoax.

When the brighter lights surrounding him advised the president that it was a thing, Trump downplayed it, waving his little pink hand and stating at a February 28^th news conference that it would “disappear”.

While technically correct, this is—at best—a half-truth. Yes, the virus will run its course and recede. But not before it takes thousands and thousands of lives.

Trump's haphazard response means the United States (with a population roughly one-quarter of China's) has already surpassed China not only in the number of confirmed infections, but deaths.

This with the COVID19 wave yet to crest.

Naturally, the fart-in-a-suit will tell anyone within earshot that his administration has done an amazing job of handling the crisis, and that everything is under control. And as the hypnotized do, Trumpers will believe him.

Really? This is what "under control" looks like? Have you visited a New York City hospital?

Sigh. If only Donald's bullshit were an endangered species.

Like his pal Boris, COVID19 presents both an opportunity and a problem for President Petulant.

Donald is determined to gut Social Security after determining it helps the one-percent not one iota. But even he has to know this is a very high-risk proposition, and would face towering opposition in the House and Senate.

I can almost hear Trumpy-bear's thoughts: “Hmmm. There's a virus creeping around that will disproportionately affect those over sixty-five. You know, that would take care of my Social Security problem and I don't have to lift a finger. My God! My thinking is like my phone calls! They're perfect! No wonder I'm president!”

But then Trumpy-bear remembers he's up for re-election. And that the longer COVID19 lingers, the worse the effect on his economy. And since he's been trumpeting (sorry) his powerhouse economy for most of his presidency, that could be a serious problem.

What to do?

It's a question Donald is still struggling with. He invokes the Defense Production Act one day, and the next declares that Americans want to get back to work and that this must happen by Easter. Are you listening COVID19? The president has spoken.

He gets juvenile with governors who don't kiss his ring, oversteps his authority and contradicts himself or the medical professionals in his administration every other day or so.

But one thing is crystal clear: Trumpy-bear is overmatched.

Ultimately, his biggest problem may be the Republican strongholds of Florida and Texas, states stuffed with the same belligerent, it's-my-right types who elected him. Worse, their Republican governors refuse to take the Coronavirus seriously, clinging to Trump's initial assertions that it is a liberal hoax and nothing to worry about.

Did I mention they happen to be the second and third most-populous states in the union? 

Yeah.

That same Republican intellect is also on display at Liberty University, which through (cough) privately-funded research has determined that COVID19 no longer poses a threat and will re-open the school immediately. 

Have you shared this news with Trumpy-bear? And if not, why?

Like I said, the country with four-times as many people had fewer infections and fewer deaths. And Corona hasn't even peaked. There's a reason for that.

Lift an urgent prayer to the heavens, people. And vote Democrat in November.

Fear of Bernie

I find it wildly amusing that Democrats are apparently terrified of Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders and his (gasp) socialism. Never mind that perhaps two out of ten Americans could even explain what socialism is.

To blunt its headlong march across the United States, they last Tuesday turned to former Vice-President Joe Biden and clutch at him like a child does a favorite stuffed animal. “Save us, Joe!”

Kindly ignore the fact that of the six candidates recently pursuing the Democratic nomination, only Biden has an Achilles heel (his son's lucrative position with a Ukrainian energy company) Donald Trump can stand on and mercilessly exploit until November.

But at least we won't be subsumed by Bernie Sanders' socialism.

We can stretch out, fold our hands behind our heads and relax in the radiant warmth of four more years of Donald Trump and his oligarchy's rape and pillage.

I have never desired more-urgently to be wrong.

Our Menu Options Have Changed. Please Listen Carefully.

These are highly unusual and distressing times. There is a loose cannon in the White House that only half the populations sees. I can't begin to fathom what the remaining half is looking at.

The half that sees a raging megalomaniac intent only on bending the country to his puerile and selfish will wants desperately to remove him from office.

Unfortunately, Democrats want so much more than that.

Take me. I don't particularly cotton to Joe Biden or Pete Buttigieg, reason being they strike me as the same type of centrist, Republican appeasers we had in Bill Clinton and Barack Obama.

Clinton removed the effective restraints placed on Wall Street after the Great Depression and unleashed our corporate banks at the same time he opened the door to corporate consolidation of our media via the Telecommunications Act of 1996.

Of course, this gift-wrapped whoring-out of a major slab of the economy to swill like Rupert Murdoch, Hank Paulson, Dick Fuld and Vikram Pandit went largely unnoticed by Republicans, who hurled every epithet available at the Commander-in-Chief anyway.

Sadly, this lesson was lost on Obama. Given the opportunity to clean up the mess of Clinton's deregulation, he mostly declined. Wall Street and our corporate banks were let off the hook with only a slap on the wrist and a request to behave.

Naturally, this too failed to endear him to Republicans, who subjected Obama to unheard-of levels of obduration and disrespect. It grew so bad I wrote on this blog that Obama could have invented sex and Republicans would only say they got screwed.

Acting like battered spouses by the end of their terms, Clinton and Obama sought only to avoid pissing-off Republicans lest they be subjected to another round of conservative rancor.

Which explains my faint enthusiasm for Biden and Buttigeig.

But in my dislike of centrist Democrats, I may well be part of Democrat's problem.

When I say I want to see Donald Trump and the GOP bitch-slapped into submission and gutted like a freshly-caught trout, I am acting on a personal bias that ignores larger issues, like how do we suss out the candidate who can remove Donald Trump from the White House?

While my favorite candidate fulfills my angry Democrat fantasy, the most-effective candidate may well be a centrist named Buttigeig or Biden or Amy Klobuchar.

And this is where Democrats face a great big challenge. If my candidate doesn't get the nod and my desires recede into the background, what do I do? Dissolve into petulance and sit this election out? Vote for the Trump-whore out of spite? What?

Democrats need to put aside their personal agendas and vote for the candidate who gets the nomination—even if in my case they seem unlikely to toss Trump into a meat-grinder. Or a wood chipper.

Democrats need to be Republicans. The party of far-flung diversity needs to consolidate. It needs to learn how to move en masse. March in lockstep. Act as a single entity hellbent on achieving one single, solitary goal.

Whether it's Buttigeig or Bernie Sanders, we need to line up behind them, endorse them and—most-importantly—vote for them. While the resultant democracy may not unfold in precisely the fashion we wish it to, at least there will be one.

The option is to allow the re-election of Donald Trump, a nakedly greedy, nakedly corrupt and nakedly megalomaniacal monster. Left to the Man-Child-in-Chief and the spineless sycophants who cower in fear of him, we are done. Toast. Ready for the fork-stick.

Which is why Democrats need to unite and vote their collective ass off.

If this is insufficient motivation, remember we have all complained at one point or another that too often we end up not voting for someone, but against them. So if you can't vote for a Democrat, vote against a Republican.

In 2020, that would be an honor worthy of the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

What We Got

In the midst of a nine-day stretch of zero-sun days, there isn't much that could exacerbate the gloom. That is, except for Republicans.

Yes, the alpha dogs of greed, fraud and hypocrisy in our Senate have essentially acquitted the most-corrupt president in American history of virtually any and all wrongdoing. 

But in doing so, they have bestowed an unintentional gift upon us. They have shown us exactly who they are. Laid bare their agenda. No PR spin. No walking it back. No accusations of being misquoted by the so-called “liberal media”.

Just the naked, raw truth.

And it is this: these Republicans don't care. Not about the integrity of our government. Not about corruption or deceit or the rule of law. Not about air we breathe or the water we drink. They're not concerned about our health care or our social security or our lives.

(Unless you happen to be a fetus, in which case it is highly-unlikely you are reading this. But even that concern extends only to the end of the birth canal.)

What Senate Republicans care about is appeasing the emotionally and intellectually-stunted bully inhabiting the White House. Wielding control. Saving their jobs.

Not making Trumpy-bear mad.

The fifty-one cowards who maintained that Donald J. Trump did nothing wrong as they systematically denied their colleagues the chance to present witnesses and evidence are the low-water mark of our history.

When The Rise and Fall of the American Democracy is written rest assured they will have starring roles.

Tell me: if Donald did nothing wrong, why the anxiety over witnesses? Evidence? Why the organized obstruction? Why the unanswered subpoenas? The lies?

I know why. You know why. They know why.

The word doesn't exist that describes the moral apathy exhibited by these gutless and spineless sycophants. In a better world, Donald Trump would be lying prone at the base of his toilet—a half-finished Tweet unsent on his phone. 

Mitch McConnell, William Barr, Rudy Giuliani, Mike Pompeo, Steven Mnuchin, Mick Mulvaney and Lindsey Graham (otherwise known as the offal that enables and sustains the Trump-whore) would be in prison.

Or asking if you'd like hot sauce with that at an open all night Taco Bell drive-through.

And the retards who voted for him would be prohibited from ever exercising that right again. Mostly on the grounds that they're, well, stupid.

Here's a list of the feeble fifty-one. Feel free to call, text or e-mail them with your thoughts.

Don't be shy.

And don't forget to vote with extreme prejudice come November.

Lamar Alexander (R-TN)

John Barrasso (R-WY)

Marsha Blackburn (R-TN)

Roy Blunt (R-MO)

John Boozman (R-AR)

Mike Braun (R-IN)

Richard Burr (R-NC)

Shelley Capito (R-WV)

Bill Cassidy (R-LA)

John Cornyn (R-TX)

Tom Cotton (R-AR)

Kevin Cramer (R-ND)

Mike Crapo (R-ID)

Ted Cruz (R-TX)

Steve Daines (R-MT)

Michael Enzi (R-WY)

Joni Ernst (R-IA)

Deb Fischer (R-NE)

Cory Gardner (R-CO)

Lindsey Graham (R-SC)

Chuck Grassley (R-IA)

Josh Hawley (R-MO)

John Hoeven (R-ND)

Cindy Hyde-Smith (R-MS)

James Inhofe (R-OK)

Ron Johnson (R-WI)

John Kennedy (R-LA)

James Lankford (R-OK)

Mike Lee (R-UT)

Kelly Loeffler (R-GA)

Mitch McConnell (R-KY)

Martha McSally (R-AZ)

Jerry Moran (R-KS)

Lisa Murkowski (R-AK)

Rand Paul (R-KY)

David Perdue (R-GA)

Rob Portman (R-OH)

James Risch (R-ID)

Pat Roberts (R-KS)

Mike Rounds (R-SD)

Marco Rubio (R-FL)

Ben Sasse (R-NE)

Rick Scott (R-FL)

Tim Scott (R-SC)

Richard Shelby (R-AL)

Dan Sullivan (R-AK)

John Thune (R-SD)

Thom Tillis (R-NC)

Patrick Toomey (R-PA)

Roger Wicker (R-MS)

Todd Young (R-IN)